I would like to comply with this request,
but really, OPI, you leave me no choice.
Are you aware that the only similarity
between the word “pretzel” and the word “press” is the first three letters? By that logic, I could writhe a sentinel like
third Andorra evening shovel be apple my cleaver witness. Ha ha, get it? I mean, Gethsemane it?
I am also troubled by the question of
whether I should inform you that under no circumstances should a pretzel ever
be this color. Frankly, if you have
eaten so many godforsaken pseudo-pretzels that you consider this color to be
in any way reminiscent of a pretzel, you are probably already beyond all medical help. Although enough thiamine mononitrate in the
brain pan would finally shed some long-awaited clarity on the “thought” “process” behind
these names.
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