Friday, April 29, 2011

No More Waity, Katie

Charming. Prince Charming. Finally a nail polish marketed to the enormous audience who have already knit their own royal wedding, hooked up their Kate and William commemorative refrigerator, and are just twitching to spend their extra crumpet money. Of course, the polish will not be sold in the U.K., and it won't be shipped out until May, post-wedding frenzy, so…good luck with that.


Now, I like a good bit of rhyming doggerel as much as the next McGonagall fan, but "No More Waity, Katie"? Really? First of all, I'm pretty sure she goes by "Kate." And, call me crazy, but I can't seem to find "waity" anywhere in my copy of the O.E.D. You will note, however, that the actual word "wait" rhymes with her actual name, "Kate." So apparently someone just decided to add extra syllables and take up more space on the bottle to...make both parts worse? Yes, I know that "Waity Katie" is one of Kate Middleton's tabloid nicknames. So I could potentially (albeit with serious questions about how wise it is to emulate such fine literary sources as the Sun) let "No More Waity Katie" slide. That said, grammatically-challenged nail polish namer, consider the role of a comma. "Waity Katie," qua nickname, makes a certain amount of tenuous grammatical sense, in that the -y is a slapdash adjective-maker, thus she is a Katie with a proclivity towards waiting. "No More Waity, Katie," however, means that you are addressing the future Queen of England in baby talk. I hope you have an immunity to Corgi bites.

Substantively, of course, it is always great to have more cultural reinforcement that a woman's role is to exert feminine wiles and wait passively for a man to choose her. Thanks, Jerky Turkey.

33 comments:

  1. Yay! You're back! Missed you so. Herky hugs!

    ""Waity Katie," qua nickname, makes a certain amount of tenuous grammatical sense, in that the -y is a slapdash adjective-maker, thus she is a Katie with a proclivity towards waiting. "No More Waity, Katie," however, means that you are addressing the future Queen of England in baby talk." = See? You rock. We haven't had a good nail-polish-name-slash-cultural-commentary in EONS.

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  2. Genius. I totally needed this lovely bit of snark after spending the last 12 hours writing a final paper.

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  3. I cringed when I heard that name! Love your blog :)

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  4. Inky--it's good to be back! I am going to be insanely busy for the next couple of weeks but after that my schedule should settle down a little and, nail polish gods willing, I can get back to regular blogging.

    AnnMarie--hope the paper went well! It is an honor to be the moral support for last-minute paper-writers everywhere.

    Steph--thank you! As soon as I saw the name it immediately leapfrogged to the front of my list--what a cynical marketing move.

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  5. I second Inky--so, so nice to have your voice back in the blogging world! This polish name is Silly Will-y.

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  6. The media have been calling her Waity Katie for years because they dated for like 8 years before he proposed.

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  7. Oh Pander. I love you when you rant.

    They are a bunch of Sucky Fuckies. pthbbbbbbbb.
    Big hugs, welcome back!
    jc

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  8. Yay, you're back! I agree, it would have been slightly better if they had omitted the comma.

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  9. Glad to see you back. Your posts always make me smile. There are plenty of stupid polish names for you write about too. OPI's names are as stupid as ever.

    I don't understand why the tabloids picked on Kate Middleton for waiting to get married. Lots of women put off marriage. This is 2011!

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  10. I am so glad I found your blog. Your my brand of snarky. Do you know how hard it is to find bloggers that aren't over-the-top bubbly?

    I'm following. :)

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  11. hahaha great post! i've hated this name since it first came out and i loved reading your thoughts on it!

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  12. Jeanni--thanks for the info.

    jc--hugs! I think you may have the best rhyming insult of us all--now there is a nail polish I would buy!

    Arrianne--The comma just baffles me. Were they trying to sell the polish to Kate herself by addressing her? I really don't see her in glitter purple.

    Deb--I agree, it's a bit nuts. I would say spending an "extra" five years to make sure you've picked the right partner for the next sixty years (particularly when the decision will irrevocably lock you into a constrained life as a royal!) is a pretty good investment.

    Jessi--thanks! You are so nice! I love making new friends! Won't you stick around so we can be best friends forever? Yay! Whew, you were right. I am just not cut out for bubbly.

    Lindsay--thank you for the kind words!

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  13. Love this blog, so glad you're back!! the tags are my favorite part!

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  14. Thanks, Mandy! Those tags were a hassle and a half to go back and add so I'm glad you enjoy them. I didn't they'd date so quickly, though--now that "Mad Men" looks like it's out of seasons, do you think I should change my sexist tag?

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  15. lol love your blog !
    This is so true !

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  16. I confess I hadn't noticed the misplaced comma. The product must be immediately recalled. Deplorable.

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  17. A whole blog dedicated to rubbish nail polish names - love it! Glad I've found you :)

    Please check out my newspaper nails:

    http://jacabag.blogspot.com/2011/05/newspaper-nails.html

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  18. A always, your prescient grasp of punctuation ruins the nickname echo. Now it's a lame sentence that infantilizes. And what kind of Duchess wears silver, anyway? Ain't that shit 'pposed to be gold?

    Welcome back. Must remember to subscribe, so as not to be two weeks late to future parties.

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  19. Yay! You're back!

    For your consideration, I offer the following collection of pretty, stupidly named shades from Essie:

    Fair Game - pearly black creme
    Your Hut or Mine - poppy red creme
    Lion Around - peachy pink creme
    Da Bush - pale sage green creme


    Da Bush? DA BUSH? Whyyyyyyyyyy?

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  20. Oh my god. Best blog ever. Seriously, I laughed so hard reading this. This and the Bitch post. Please write more!

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  21. discovered your blog today and then proceeded to read every single one of your posts. i love nail polish and it's a hobby of mine to find the inanely named ones; i'm glad to know it's someone else's hobby, too.

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  22. Haha! Just found your blog and it is HILARIOUS.

    What drugs are the varnish namers on?

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  23. Summer's Gone Pander! (not to be confused with Summer's Eve! *ahem*)

    Hope you're ok. Everytime I run past the cosmetics crap in the store, I think of you, and curse the polish gawds. (not to be confused with Polish Gawds, since they provide pierogies and bleenies which I love).

    Someone, please for the love of rainbows, turn off the damn heat wave. Once I can rehydrate, I'll do a herky for you.
    jc

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  24. Enjoy the crisp of the new nice posting. I have discover your blog. I like "nail" it’s names meaning is "One who attains"

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  25. If "No More Waity, Katie" was mixed with "I'm Not Really a Waitress", we'd have "Katie's Not Really a Waitress"... or "I'm Not Really Waity Katie"... just in case anyone thought those couldn't be worse... ;)

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  26. Really cool and exciting post and great collection of nail paint......

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  27. Great collection of color and lovely blog.....

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  28. Thanks to posting stupid nail polish name

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  29. 'Waity Katie' was her nickname until mr Prince proposed to her, because he waited to so long to propose :)

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