Saturday, March 24, 2012

Uh-oh Roll Down the Window

Too late, this nail polish name already made me vomit.


(Suggested by presumably-nauseated reader Jessika)

It's not the first time we've tackled unpleasant body fluids here (cf. Jizz), but at least that has a certain tawdry Paris-Hilton-getting-out-of-a-limo glamour to it. This, on the other hand, caters to that large segment of the population who are constantly wondering, "Is there any product I could apply to my nails to remind me of how much I enjoy throwing up? Bonus if it can include that feeling of desperate helplessness from being trapped in a moving, confined area while the contents of my stomach are flung into the windshields of unsuspecting motorists!"

Apparently this is from OPI's "Touring America" collection, which I assume includes such similarly pleasant classics as Gas is HOW Much a Gallon?, State Trooper on a Power Trip, Why Didn't You Go Before We Left?, If You Two Don't Shut Up Back There I Swear I'm Taking Off My Belt, and Goddamn It, If I Have to Eat at Cracker Barrel Again, Tiny Faux-Rustic Rocking Chairs Are Going to Start Seeping Out of My Eye Sockets. The good news is that after wearing that last one, a top coat of Uh-oh Roll Down the Window would be entirely apropos.

26 comments:

  1. Hahaha at all those names! And I'm glad you're back!

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  2. Evidently touring America is a similar experience to touring the UK except for "Expect delays. Motorway closed ahead."

    When OPI do a "Touring Britain" collection I expect that particular gem to be a matte grey.

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  3. Thanks, Janelle!

    Jen--tell me that there aren't Cracker Barrels over there. I can live with any hideous act of cultural imperialism but that.

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    1. I have heard of CB and imagine it's a biscuit but I can happily live without it.

      Please address yourself to OPI 'I have a Herring Problem'. I feel that this rates your attention more than a little.

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  4. LMAO! That last paragraph is a thing of beauty.

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  5. I love that last paragraph! You are truly an entertainer. That color is gruesome though I have to admit.

    Timeshare Relief
    Sell Timeshare

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  6. I must concur with the others--very, very funny! What is wrong with these polish namers??? Looking forward to seeing you on Jeopardy...

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  7. OMGGGG!! You are absolutely hilarious!!! I'm currently reciting your blog to my husband... I just found this blog, and it definitely deserves this Versatile Blogger award! You can see it here in my blog: http://talon-ted.blogspot.com.es/2012/03/versatile-blogger-award.html. I think I'm going to start collecting polishes with stupid names right now! Why didn't the OPI Spain collection have polishes like "How The Hell They Can't Know About The Time Tables at the Bus Station" or "What Exactly do You Mean by Tomorrow"? <3, Eugenia

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  8. Inky--thanks! Didn't get a chance to comment on your previous entry before it *poof*ed, but just want to note that we all love you and your blog entirely as is, and any sensible potential audience down the road will feel the same way.

    Kaylene--Your comments appear to be original (and thank you for them), so I'll let this stay up, but please don't use the comments section here to promote your timeshare business.

    Polishlover--Thanks! I hope that soon I can count Alex Trebek among my followers.

    Eugenia--thank you! You are too kind. I think your OPI Spain ideas are great; you'd better be careful or else you'll walk into the drugstore tomorrow and find that OPI's taken them for their next collection!

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  9. Yay, I'm so glad you're back. I thought you'd abandoned us!

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  10. This name was my favourite since I've seen it in the drug store. never bought it tho, cause i hate the colour...

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  11. A little off the subject - I saw you on Jeopardy! today. I write a blog too, about the show! I'm planning on publishing an entry on your episode this evening at about 9:30 Central.

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  13. Sorry, the URL is thejeopardyfan.com
    By the way, I was on the show myself last week! :-)

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  14. Saw you on Jeopardy tonight - love the blog! Great idea. :)

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  15. I totally saw you on Jeopardy. Your writing is really, really funny, although I don't often wear nail polish.

    I also write a blog which I'm going to shamelessly plug: www.whatsgoodattraderjoes.com

    I know you like Trader Joe's, don't you?

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  16. Saw you on jeopardy. You are both smart and beautiful. That final jeopardy was ridiculously easy. I hate how inconsistent they are with those. Anyways, keep fightin the good fight.

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  17. Also saw you on Jeopardy. I had to check this out. Wasn't expecting to laugh so hard my cheap Shiraz came out my nose. Good job.

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  18. I’m not sure how to comment on nail polish except I like where you’re going with it. The last thing a guy wants to discuss is nail polish but you’re making it fun. Any way I too saw you on Jeopardy and thought, She is gorgeous… and smart, let me look her up. Have a great day. privatepop

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  19. I have this one and it's a great color, but it makes me think of someone passing gas in the car. Whoops, dad just farted so Uh-Oh, roll Down the Window. Yuck!

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  20. Jeopardy girl! Who would have come up with this subject but you? Brilliant! Could be a Jeopardy question ten years from now.

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  21. Arrianne--I'll never abandon you! Just randomly drop off the face of the Earth for periods of several months, but that doesn't count, right?

    Paintyonails--Definitely not the most attractive color. I guess some people go for the "so ugly it's pretty" thing?

    Jeanie--Thanks for the link to your blog. I've certainly never been compared to Jamie-Lynn Sigler before, and I'm sorry my eye contact gave you trouble (some of us are a tad on the painfully shy side). You are truly a devoted fan (and I've been auditioning since Teen Tournament, too). Neat that we were on Jeopardy so close together! You must have filmed the day before I did--maybe we shared a night at the Doubletree.

    Lacey--Thank you for the kind words!

    Nathan--Thanks! Your blog has given me a severe craving for those chickenless tenders. Like I always (read: never) say about Trader Joe's: go for the convenient herbed pizza dough, stay and spend all your money on the novel juice flavors and crunchy seaweed snacks.

    Kramcity--Thanks! If I knew a little bit more about HBO's "The Borgias" (ugh) I guess I'd be the perfect woman. Inconsistent Final Jeopardy difficulty drives me crazy, too, but at least it wasn't "Charlotte's Web," am I right?

    Kara--Thanks. I'm actually a shill for the cheap Shiraz industry--the more that comes out your nose, the more you have to buy.

    Privatepop--Thanks! I kind of consider this a nail-polish-incidental nail polish blog, in that I could plug in any other product name and it would probably work just as well.

    Unknown--A good alternative meaning hypothesis, although no more pleasant. Then again, if your dad's gas turns the air in the car this color, he should probably be seeking medical attention.

    Judith--Thanks, you are too sweet! Maybe I can score a cameo on Jeopardy in ten years as one of the celebrities who stiltedly read questions about their work.

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    1. Thanks for your reply! I totally didn't think you would considering you're a celebrity now and all...

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  22. Thanks for using my submission! It really is a gross name for an equally gross color. OPI takes the cake with stupid nail polish names. I swear I'd rather wear "Load" by Illamasqua than something ever called "Uh Oh, roll down the window". Thanks again!

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  23. I also assumed it was gas/poo related as opposed to vomit... But either way it's disgusting in color and name.

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