Thursday, September 3, 2009

Forgive, Forget, For Me I Will

Look, I know that the economy is rough right now. It can be hard for companies selling non-essentials like nail polish to make ends meet. But can I make a suggestion? If you must downsize your entire nail polish naming and marketing staff and replace it with one work of literature, make it a dictionary. DO NOT, under any circumstances, use the poetry journal of an eighth-grader whose nom de plume is Mistress Raventwilight Sorrowgoth.

(photo courtesy of Vampy Varnish)

"Forgive, Forget, For Me I Will"? What IS that? I want to call it a sentence fragment, but I think that is too generous. Sentence fragments make sense with additional words placed before or after them, but all that I can think might come after this is "The dark miasma of my tortured soul cries out. / Brandon didn't ask me to the Homecoming dance. / Life is an endless shadow."

Misa, it is no coincidence that when I tried to find a picture of this nail polish, the first page of Google search turns up this:

Forgive this naming travesty? I don't think so. Forget it? I'm trying as hard as I can. Do you think sacrificing a hamster to our Dark Wiccan Vampire Lords would hasten the sweet caress of blessed oblivion?


  1. Panderbear, it's so good to see you and your witty nail polish commentary back in action! I have missed you.

  2. Mistress Raventwilight Sorrowgoth - I love that name! I'm gonna use it for one of my next Sims *lol*
    btw I think the name of this polish is even better than "I'm going to love myself" from the same collection o_O who wants to know??!!
    (did you know, that some of us polishbloggers (well thats scrangie and me) call this the teabag collection? just look at the promopic!)

  3. Anon.--thank you, it's good to be back!

    Loungie--That doesn't surprise me; that promopic is...unsettling. And the marketing copy is even worse! (For those curious to see the picture/press release: I can't believe I forgot to include that their description of what this name means is:

    Forgive, Forget, For Me I Will: Versatility, honesty and authenticity, describe the meaning behind this vibrant red-orange shade. Women possess the ability to relate to others in an honest, real way. This color celebrates the humanity and femininity of women.

    Seriously, if this is supposed to be a strong feminist statement, I think I'm considering misogyny.

  4. WTF does "For Me I Will" mean? That does NOT suggest that "Women possess the ability to relate to others in an honest, real way," unless "honest, real way" means "completely hammered, syntax-mangling way."

    (Missed ya, PB. So happy to see you back!)

  5. So good... soooo good! Mistress Raventwilight Sorrowgoth had me nearly in tears. I don't know WTF is up with Misa's names lately.. Did you see the one from last spring's collection called "Right here now no more later"? O_o

    Thank you for your blog. It is full of win.

  6. Thanks, Scrangie! I love your blog, too. Those chromes you posted today...covet! Or should I call them khromes? That makes me feel like they should only be worn by Kardashians.